13.

Sam said, "I feel like I'm in a pinball machine." He was standing next to Tassos inside a dance club named Jimmy'z. The club was mobbed with well-dressed people, many of them dancing underneath searching spotlights and a large spinning ball. Circling the room, ceiling-height windows seperated walls of mirrored tile. The music was poundingly loud.
"Yes, pinball, and there is the bumpers," said Tassos, pointing to a young white woman dancing with a black man in a tuxedo. She was wearing a frilly red dress which revealed her back, shoulders, and long
lovely legs. Sam's eyes were immediately drawn to her large breasts which moved heavily as she danced. They looked as though they might pop out of her dress at any moment.
"Great bumpers," said Sam. "Air bags, even. You think she's on the island with Mr. Tux?"
"Mister Tux? What is that?"
"The black guy." Sam pointed.
"Ah no. I see her with others. She is a whore."
"No kidding?" Sam seemed surprised. "Real money whore?"
Tassos smiled, gesturing for Sam to follow. They walked past the dance floor, past a bar, to a row of booths against the far wall.
They sat and Tassos said, "All women are whores. They are the honest when they ask for the money before fucking. The others wait and take more of the money with their promises and their lies."
"I guess that's one way of looking at it," said Sam. The song ended and he watched the woman with the large breasts thank the black man and walk off the dance floor. She sat at a booth across from Sam, next
to a white man with long curly hair and a white jacket. The man was wearing sunglasses. She whispered something and they both laughed.
"I guess she's with this other guy," said Sam, pointing.
Without looking Tassos said, "She is with no one. You ask to dance and then you ask to fuck."
Sam laughed. "The direct approach."
"The whores they respect this. It is a simple thing. If you have money she will fuck you."
"Money I got." He looked for a waitress. "I just found out I'm going to save hundreds and hundreds of hotel bucks."
A man with a tuxedo shirt and glowing green suspenders stopped at the table and asked, "May I take your order?"
"Yeah," said Sam. "This guy wants an orange juice."
"No. Water," said Tassos. "A pitcher of water and a glass."
"That will be fine," said the waiter.
"Hey don't sound so disappointed," said Sam. "What kind of champagne have you got? You got Crystal?"
"I don't believe so, sir. We do have Dom Perignon, though."
"Done deal. But send it over to the woman sitting two booths in front of me." Sam didn't look toward her. Neither did the waiter.
"Tell her I'd be honored if I could join her for a drink."
"Very good," said the waiter.
"And bring me an Absolut rocks right away," said Sam.
"Right away." The waiter walked off.
Sam smiled at Tassos. "You see the way that guy changed his tune when I ordered that bottle?"
"Everyone is a whore."
"I know I am," said Sam, watching the woman. She was sipping her drink, looking at the dance floor.
"What is it you work for?"
"I'm a writer whore for a publishing place." The woman whispered something to her companion and pointed across the room. The man nodded, stood up, and walked through the dance floor.
The waiter arrived with the vodka. Sam asked, "What's your name?"
"Thomas, sir."
"As in Saint?"
"Right, sir. Would you like me to ask the young lady now?"
"Perfect timing. Go for it." Thomas walked to her booth. To Tassos Sam said, "Her guy just left her sitting alone."
"My friend. Relax. Women are like dogs. They smell your blood."
Sam watched the waiter ask the woman and point back at Sam. She smiled to herself and looked at Sam. He raised his glass, smiled, and took a sip. She spoke to Thomas and he returned to Sam.
"She said that would be fine. She said to say that her fiance loves champagne."
Sam let out a laugh. "What the hell. I'm game. Bring the bottle." He stood up. "And Thomas, his water." He pointed to Tassos.
"Yes sir. Right away." Thomas hurried off.
"I'll be back, Crazy Painter. This ought to be good for a laugh."
"I will be here."
Sam walked to her booth with his drink. "May I sit down?"
"Yes," she said.
He sat. "I'm Sam."
"I'm Hilda."
"Hi ... Hilda." Sam laughed.
"You don't like my name?"
"Of course I do. It's a lovely name."
She laughed. "So you always buy strangers champagne?"
"It's a habit of mine. Particularly with strikingly beautiful women."
"Does it work?"
"Work?"
"You want to get into my pants, right?"
Sam smiled with surprise. "My goodness."
"Just being friendly?"
"Yes of course lovely Hilda. It's a sad state of things when good intentions are misconstrued so wrongly. Besides, you're not wearing pants."
She laughed. "Well so long as you know, I've got five kids and a dog."
"Well forget it then," he said. "Why is it every woman I meet has a dog?" She laughed again, brightly now.
Thomas arrived with the champagne, an ice bucket, and three long stem glasses. They watched him pop the cork and pour two glasses.
Sam toasted. "Here's to an eternally blissful state of wedlock. I'm sure you, your guy, the kids, and the dog will find true happiness together." They drank.
Sam finished his and asked, "So where's the lucky guy at?"
"He's calling the baby sitter."
"You know, you seem awfully young to have five kids."
"I'm thirty-eight."
Sam seemed shocked. "Amazing. I would have guessed you were no more than twenty-four. What's your secret."
"Frequent sex. I keep Gaylord pretty busy."
"Gaylord?"
"What you don't like his name either?"
Sam laughed. "Sorry. It's just that it sounds like a lifestyle."
"Oh, he's hetero, I assure you. I've got five kids to prove it."
"So they're his kids."
"Yes. We've been together for ten years."
"That long. Why get married now?"
"Well we've never really believed in marriage, but the kids at school started to make fun of Beasley, our oldest."
"Beasley?"
"You don't like the name of my child?"
"Hilda, it's a wonderful name. I'm sure it fits him."
The man with sunglasses returned. "Darling," said the woman, kissing him on the cheek as he sat down. "This nice man has bought us a bottle of bubbly to celebrate our engagement."
Sam extended his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Gaylord."
They shook, though the other man hestitated.
"Likewise," he said, holding his glass while Sam filled it from the bottle. Sam filled his
own again.
The woman asked, "So darling, how are the kids?"
"The kids . . the kids are great." He took a sip from his glass. "The sitter was a little miffed because little Tommy was crucifying the cat again."
"That rascal," she said.
"You have a cat?" asked Sam.
"Oh yes, and a pig."
"Quite a zoo. It sounds like you have a very satisfying home life."
"Have you ever been married, Sam?" she asked.
"I was once. Before the accident."
"Your wife died?"
"Yes." He looked down. "It was terrible."
"What happened?"
"We were crossing the Great Plains by car, and the song that we first danced to as husband and wife came on the radio, just as the sun was going down. It was a very romantic moment." He sighed. "I stopped
the car and we raced hand in hand into a wheat field and made passionate love on the ground."
"Heart attack?" she asked.
"No. A threshing machine."
The woman burst out laughing. "Oh. I am so sorry. What a grievous loss."
Sam stifled a laugh. "To this day I find it very hard to eat any kind of whole-grain product."
Still laughing she said, "That's perfectly understandable. It must have been awful."
"Indeed it was," said Sam. He finished his glass and stood up.
"Well. My friend is sitting by himself. I'll leave you two love birds to enjoy the rest of the bottle. Congratulations again on your pending nuptials. I'm sure Beasley will have a better time of it once you've gone legit."
"That is our hope," she said. "Thanks so much for the champagne."
"Gaylord. It's been a pleasure. You're a lucky man."
"Yeah, thanks for the bottle." They shook hands.
"Sorry to hear about your wife. Tough break." He was smiling.
Sam turned to the woman. "Thank you for gracing me with your company, lovely Hilda." He kissed her hand.
Joining Tassos at their table, Sam said, "The seed has been planted. She's great."
"You did well?"
"Yes."
"And you are taking her home?"
"Not tonight. Not yet."